Building Trust in a Relationship Again

Okay, so this is the question that's most often asked when couples find themselves arguing after one, or both, members of the couple do something to lose the other person's trust. The one person wants the other to trust them again, and may get irritated because the partner refuses to do this, while the other person can't help but not trust their partner because of the hurt their actions have caused. Typically, this comes about after an affair, but not always. One member may have done something that made the other person feel bad, like watching porn, viewing a dating website (even if they didn't sign up, but why were they there in the first place?), or lied about something and got caught. It's hard to rebuild trust, and really it should be. Yes, it's going to take time. Yes, your partner is going to question everything you do for a while, and you really need to be supportive of them in this because it is one of the only ways to get the relationship back on track from the pain that your actions caused.

Now, if you're the person that's been hurt, here are some suggestions for you. Yes, it's going to be hard to trust them again; however, if you vow never trust them again, you are going to doom the relationship. Let them rebuild the trust, help them do things, and sit down and talk about both of their feelings. Don't blame yourself, but try to understand what led them to hurt you in the way they did. Try to help them fix that problem and rebuild your relationship one small step at a time.

Also, if you find yourself in this situation, it is probably time to get some counseling advice. So, try to find a local counselor, pastor, or other professional that is best suited to help you. Yes, neither of you may want to go this route because you may feel its embarrassing; however, sessions are kept private (it's the law) and these people are professionally trained to help you work through your issues. Good luck and let me know in the comments if this post has helped you.


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